Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you find out how compatible you are.
The two most important factors that decide how compatible you are as a couple are:
A similar level of psychological vitality and maturity and a similar ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the natural energy or drives that are inherently part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are preoccupied with the essential existential needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, safety and comfort.
Being safe and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will often bring their supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice bad lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the lunch break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of important necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this variant have a intense desire for intensity of experience and affection. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel attracted to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing obligations or even basic maintenance if they are swept up in something that has captivated them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory philosophy to life, but can also generate a lack of focus of one’s own achievements.
Social Instinct.
People of this type are preoccupied on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and self esteem they receive from their involvement in collective activities. These include occupation, relationships, hobbies and clubs.
On entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between the different people and social circles. They are subconsciously focused on other’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to touch base with others to feel secure, acknowledged and energised. They tend to live for interacting with others, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within a personality, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact the three instincts can be ranked like the sections of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These instincts play an essential role in our relationships because people of the same type tend to share values to understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.
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